And another church talk

One of my favorite movies as a kid was the 1968 version of Heidi. In the beginning there’s a scene when Heidi’s grandfather is having a conversation with the local clergyman about why he wouldn’t take care of orphaned Heidi. No matter what the clergyman said to convince him of his responsibility the grandfather adamantly refused. Frustrated the clergyman belts out, “Why are you so stubborn?!” The grandfather grunts and mumbles, “It’s my nature.”

What’s your nature? What is my nature? What does the world teach us about our nature? How often is “our nature” used as an excuse for our actions like Heidi’s grandfather? “I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.”

From the time that I was twelve, until I graduated high school I was constantly being taught by my Young Women leaders that I had a divine nature. It was reiterated every Sunday as we recited the Young Women’s theme since Divine nature was second of the 7 Young Women values (although now it’s 8 values-overachievers). It was associated with the color blue. There’s even a song written by Janice Kapp Perry that we learned called “My Nature Is Divine”.  I particularly like the second verse which says,

“Why is it when I touch a fevered brow, I know that I must give relief somehow? Why is it when I see someone with less I’m urged within to share my goods and bless? Why is it when I see a soul in sin I long to share the light I have within? Why is it that a joy beyond compare distills upon me when I kneel in prayer? Could it be, oh could it be a sign that deep within this simple soul of mine I sense by some miraculous design my nature is divine? Could it be? I ask in prayerful hours. The spirit speaks with gentle power saying  Yes, your nature is divine, for you my child are mine.”

Even before I made it to Young Women’s, I was still being taught about where I came from. How many of us could sing “I am a child of God” before we could even read the words ourselves?

Our nature is Divine. It is divine because we are children of God. We come from God, and have the ability to one day return to and be just like Him. Our nature is the same as His. In order to know ourselves and what our potential is, we should have an understanding of what God’s nature is.

God is Eternal

Doctrine and covenants Section20:17-19

17 By these things we know that there is a God in heaven, who is infinite and eternal, from everlasting to everlasting, the same unchangeable God, the framer of heaven and earth, and all things which are in them; 

 18 And that he created man, male and female, after his own image and in his own likeness, created he them;

 
 19 And gave unto them commandments that they should love and serve him, the only living and true God, and that he should be the only being whom they should worship.

God has a perfected living body

Joseph Smith had seen God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ in an experience we know as the first vision. His described what he saw as, “a pillar of light…above the brightness of the sun… two Personages whose brightness and glory defy all description” JosephSmith History 1:16-17

Doctrine and Covenants section130:22 also tells us that

“The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as a man’s…”

We are patterned after Him as His children just like we are patterned after our earthly parents. Our bodies are not yet glorified, but will be through the resurrection.

God is omniscient

God knows everything. He knows us, our names, what we need, the mystery behind the missing sock from the dryer, why the sky is blue, and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop.

Doctrine and Covenants section 88verse 41 tells us that,

41 “He comprehendeth all things, and all things are before him, and all things are round about him; and he is above all things, and in all things, and is through all things, and is round about all things; and all things are by him, and of him, even God, forever and ever.

We learn from Abraham that God isn’t shy about his knowledge either and he wants us to know that even if we think we’re pretty smart, he can still outsmart us.

Abraham chapter 3 verse 19

19 And the Lord said unto me: These two facts do exist, that there are two spirits, one being more intelligent than the other; there shall be another more intelligent than they; I am the Lord thy God, I am more intelligent than they all.

Knowledge is a godly attribute (it’s also a young women’s value- it was the color green). We should all be striving to learn and increase our knowledge. Spiritual knowledge is important, but secular knowledge will also be a benefit to us. President Hinckley is known for encouraging us to gain as much education as possible. He said, “You must get all of the education that you possibly can. Life has become so complex and competitive. You cannot assume that you have entitlements due you. You will be expected to put forth great effort and to use your best talents to make your way to the most wonderful future of which you are capable.  Sacrifice a car; sacrifice anything that is needed to be sacrificed to qualify yourselves to do the work of the world. That world will in large measure pay you what it thinks you are worth, and your worth will increase as you gain education and proficiency in your chosen field (Words of the Prophet: Seek Learning).

Not only will we benefit from education in this world only, but also the next. Doctrine and Covenants section130 vs 18-19 promises:

18 Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.

 19 And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.

God is omnipotent

God can do whatever he wants. Not only is there nobody to tell him what to do, he can manipulate, create, or destroy anything or anyone at any time.Just because he can, doesn’t always mean he will. Nephi reminds us that faith is required if we are going to call upon God for help when he says

12 Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him (1Nephi 7:12).

And sometimes, no matter how much faith we pull forth there are some things and trials we or loved ones experience that only God knows why they happen, but we can know that God loves us and we will be stronger through our hard experiences.

God is Kind

Despite these hard experiences that some of us or our friends may be going through that seem like God is inflicting unjust punishment, he really does love us. Doctrine and Covenants 122:7 says,

7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

How could we gain knowledge or experience without trials? Our trials give us experience to know how to help others. It gives us perspective and allows us to better appreciate and develop gratitude for the good in our lives. They prepare us to be as God is.

God loves us. He wants us to become the best possible versions of ourselves we can be. I think we’re all familiar with the story of the “refiner’s fire” where a silver smith refines- or purifies- silver by holding it in a fire. If left in too long it would be ruined. It needs to be watched carefully throughout the refining process. When the refiner can see his image in the silver reflected back, the refining process is complete.  God wants us to become like Him and in order to achieve this we need to be held in a fire, our trials, but we are being closely watched. We couldn’t grow without some form of resistance. We couldn’t prove ourselves without a challenge. This world is one ginormous challenge, but hopefully we can find some happier ways that God shows his love as we travel our paths.

Hymn 87 (God is Love) does a nice job illustrating some ways we can see God’s love in our lives:

1. Earth, with her ten thousand flow'rs,

Air, with all its beams and show'rs,

Heaven's infinite expanse,

Sea's resplendent countenance—

All around and all above

Bear this record: God is love.

2. Sounds among the vales and hills,

In the woods and by the rills,

Of the breeze and of the bird,

By the gentle murmur stirred—

Sacred songs, beneath, above,

Have one chorus: God is love.

3. All the hopes that sweetly start

From the fountain of the heart,

All the bliss that ever comes

To our earthly human homes,

All the voices from above

Sweetly whisper: God is love.

One of the greatest acts of love and kindness God has given us is the atonement. He wants us to return to him and so provided a way for us through his great plan of Happiness, or the Plan of Salvation (which is an entirely different talk so I’m just going to skip to the next highlight of God’s nature- and the last one so don’t worry even though God is eternal, this talk is not).

God is Perfect

The nature of God covers a lot of attributes and there isn’t enough time in the world to cover everything, but it could be summed up in about 2 seconds with the word: perfect.

In Matthew 5:48 we are charged to:

48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Perfection seems to be continuously out of reach, but if we embrace our divine nature and continuously apply the atonement in our lives and strive to develop our godly attributes that are within us someday we will return to our heavenly father and become just as he is.

So we really shouldn’t blame our faults, or excuse our imperfections because “it’s our nature” the way Heidi’s grandfather did. Instead, next time someone compliments you for achieving something great or doing something nice you can grunt and mumble, “It’s my nature.”

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

My favorite sunday activity never

Guidance, comfort and confirmation of truth. We can find all three of these things in many different forms. We can be comforted by an amazing chocolate dessert. Guided by a gps ap on a smart phone telling us when to turn. And Snopes.com confirms all truth or lies. Right? Sure. Sometimes our need for truth, guidance and comfort extend beyond worldly measures, and for that how lucky are we to have the gift of the Holy Ghost?

Last October conference, Elder Craig C. Christensen gave a talk (that I will refer to throughout this talk) called, “An Unspeakable Gift from God,”where he describes who the Holy Ghost is,

“The Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead, and as such, like God the Father and Jesus Christ, He knows our thoughts and the intents of our hearts. The Holy Ghost loves us and wants us to be happy. Since He knows the challenges we will face, He can guide us and teach us all things we must do to return and live with our Heavenly Father once again.”

He goes on

“Unlike Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, who have glorified bodies of flesh and bones, the Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit who communicates to our spirits through feelings and impressions. As a spirit being, He has the unique responsibility of being an agent through which personal revelation is received.”

The Holy Ghost is someone whose company we get to enjoy once we are baptized and are confirmed a member of this church and receive Him as a gift. Those who are not baptized may still feel the influence of the Holy Ghost from time to time, but when we are baptized we make promises to keep the commandments, take Christ’s name upon us and to always remember Him, and in return we will be blessed to ALWAYS have His Spirit with us. To have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost really is a special blessing. He can keep us safe, guide us to those we can help, allow our testimonies to grow as he confirms the things we are studying, pondering and praying about, bring us comfort when even that half a pan of brownies just doesn’t cut it (and even if it did at the time, it just makes us more sad later), and gives witness of God the Father and Jesus Christ, among other things. What better friend to keep around?

One of my first experiences I can remember in heeding the promptings of the Holy Ghost happened when I was about nine or ten. My family was friends with two other families in our ward who all had kids around the same age as my brothers and me. We spent one afternoon with all three of our families swimming together at one of their homes. When it was time to go my mom told me to go change out of my bathing suit and into my clothes in the bathroom. I went to the bathroom, locked the door behind me and something told me to not get undressed yet. I looked around. I couldn’t figure out why not. I stood there for a second, almost started changing, but then I felt so uncomfortable I stopped again to look around. The shower curtain was pulled so I went to it, and opened it, but there was nothing in the shower. It was quiet, and I couldn’t hear anything except the sounds of people getting ready to leave in the house. I still had the thought to not get undressed yet. I looked at the sink and noticed the cupboard underneath it, went to it and opened it.

Looking back at me was Joe (name has been changed) one of the older boys. I blinked at him and asked him what he was doing in there. He told me he thought David, my oldest brother would be coming in, and he was planning on scaring him when he came into the bathroom…but I came in instead. He crawled out, unlocked the door and left, and then I knew why I felt the way I did…and was glad I listened! That could have been really embarrassing.

There are other times when the spirit tells us things, and we don’t know what the outcome might have been if we hadn’t listened. When I was in high school I dropped my younger brother off at his school, and as I was driving to my school I felt that I shouldn’t go the way I always go. I wasn’t sure and I’ll probably never know why, and felt kind of weird changing my route. I always like to have a reason for things I do, but all I had was a feeling inside me that I shouldn’t go the way I normally go, and that had to be reason enough so I went an alternate way to school that day.

We should learn to recognize promptings of the spirit, and act on them when we receive them, even if we don’t know why and they seem insignificant so that we can continue to receive promptings that might turn out to be very significant either for us or someone who needs us.

In the same talk, Elder Christensen shared the story of when President Monson went to visit a member of his ward in the hospital to give her a blessing. There was another woman in the same room who covered her face as he approached the bed of the woman he came to visit. Before he left, he felt impressed to go see the woman who covered her face who turned out to be another woman in his ward who thought he had come to see her in response to her prayers but felt disappointed when she realized he had not come to see her. President Monson told her, “It does not matter that I didn’t know you were here. It is important, however, that our Heavenly Father knew and that you had prayed silently for a priesthood blessing. It was He who prompted me to intrude on your privacy.”

The Holy Ghost is also known as the Comforter. Moroni 8:26 reads: “…the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.”

As most of you know, I work as an RN. I had one patient who, after I gave him his medications for the evening, began telling me about certain trials he was experiencing in his life. He asked me if I believed in God. I told him I did. He confided his increasing doubt, that he still had hope, but his prayers seemed to be fruitless. I felt strongly at that point that I should ask him if he would like to pray now. (I work at a 7^th day Adventist hospital…so it’s ok…praying is allowed, even encouraged which is one thing I love about working there). He told me that he wouldn’t know what to say, so I asked him if he would like me to say a prayer for him. He seemed thankful and said he would. I kept it fairly general, gave thanks for what we have been blessed with, and asked for a blessing of comfort and peace, and a few other things. I don’t know how it went for my patient, but I hope he was able to feel some of what I was feeling. I was overwhelmed with the feelings of the spirit and could feel the difference in the room as I left compared to how it felt when I first entered. When the prayer was over we just sat there quietly for a minute and I didn’t want to leave, but I had other patients I needed to take care of. That is a special kind of comfort that even Morphine, Dilaudid, or Ambien can’t bring.

The Holy Ghost witnesses of Jesus Christ, Heavenly father and confirms truth. Through him we are taught what we need to do to return to our Heavenly Father. Every testimony building experience I’ve had is reflective of the primary song that says, “I know my Father lives, and loves me too. The spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true, and tells me it is true.” When I attend my church meetings, the spirit whispers that what I’m hearing is true. When I read my scriptures, I receive the same feelings. When I’m given a priesthood blessing, attended the temple, listen to appropriate Sunday music I recognize the feelings that I have experienced before with good things as I have grown up and continue to grow in the Gospel, and I know that those feelings come from Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost.  It is because of the Holy Ghost that we are able to recognize truth and feel as good as we do.

Elder Christensen spoke about how the Holy Ghost speaks to us. He said, “We all have experiences with the Holy Ghost, even though we may not always recognize them. As inspired thoughts come into our minds, we know them to be true by the spiritual feelings that enter into our hearts”. Elder Christensen then quotes  President Boyd K. Packer who taught: ‘The Holy Ghost speaks with a voice that you feel more than you hear….While we speak of ‘listening’ to the whisperings of the spirit, most often one describes a spiritual prompting by saying ‘I had a feeling…’ It is through these sacred feelings from the Holy Ghost that we come to know what God would have us do, for this, as stated in scripture, “is the spirit of revelation”.’

This is a time in our lives as young single adults when there are so many changes happening. There are so many decisions, choices and opportunities before us. We are in desperate need of guidance, truth, and comfort. And even though a pan of brownies, a gps ap and snopes.com might help us momentarily, it’s not anywhere near enough, or good enough as what we could and do have. It is through the Holy Ghost that we receive personal revelation. In order to ensure we are entitled to the companionship of the Holy Ghost and enjoy all the blessings that come with that companionship we should keep ourselves worthy of it. Like it said in Moroni 8:26, remission of sins brings meekness and lowliness of heart, which then brings the comforter.  If we honor our baptismal covenants, and make regular use of the atonement to repent where we fall short, we can have the help, comfort and companionship of the spirit to be with us not just today or this week, but always.

I have a testimony of the Holy Ghost that was confirmed to me to be true through the Holy Ghost. He’s that good. I am grateful for his companionship, the good feelings, guidance I receive and truth I am taught through him. If it wasn’t for the Holy Ghost, we wouldn’t know the things we know, or even really know who we are. Because of the Holy Ghost, I know that we are children of God, and that he loves us. I know Jesus Christ is our Savior, and because of him we can be happy, repent, and live with our Father again. I know this church is true, and I’m glad to be a part of it here.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A talk on a talk

My least favorite place in church is behind the pulpit. Here's what I said behind one today:

I’ve always admired people who could give talks based on a talk that has already been given. I’m impressed by their ability to take something that is already perfect in itself and create their own talk out of it. This takes skill and expertise that I have been grateful I’ve never had to develop...until now. Hopefully the next 15 minutes or so are more painful for me than they are you, because I’m still not sure I’ve developed that skill. The talk I’ve been asked to speak on was given by President Uchtdorf in the Young Women’s broadcast earlier this year titled “Your Happily Ever After” .It’s written so well and is so enjoyable to read that I was debating just reading it word for word and ending it with my testimony of “and I know these things to be true, Amen”. Unfortunately for me and probably you too I was advised against this. I won’t be reading his talk word for word, but many of the thoughts and ideas I’ll be relaying are straight from President Uchtdorf.

Happiness is one of if not my favorite gospel topic and is one I never tire of studying or learning about. Happiness is a short term, long term and eternal goal of mine as I’m sure is yours and is my emotion of choice in all circumstances. I’m a sucker for happy endings. In fact if a story has a crummy ending it completely ruins any good parts of the beginning and middle I may have enjoyed up until that point. I once watched the movie “ Bryan’s Song”. Once. Never again. Titanic? Once. Never again. I hated Romeo and Juliet. On the other hand stories that are entirely depressing throughout but have satisfactory happy endings leaving you feeling good become favorites of mine. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, or Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables for example. For me it has to end on a good note.

In life, just as in stories we have our own adventures, trials, and triumphs. President Uchtdorf says our “once upon a time” is now. That God loves us so much he gave us the gift of life on this earth to experience those adventures, trials and triumphs. We are living our own stories. God wants us to “live happily ever after” with Him in eternal life. Who doesn’t want a “happily ever after” to their story they’re living? I know I do. But just because we want it doesn’t mean we’ll get it. We have to earn it. There are things we need to do to prove ourselves, and make ourselves worthy of a happily ever after ending to our stories.

Elder Uchtdorf reminds us that there is no way to have your “once upon a time” and get straight to a “happily ever after” without first experiencing trials and temptations. No one is exempt. He gives examples of a few fairy tales to show that each heroine (or hero) had to go through “great adversity”. These trials allow us to appreciate and differentiate between sorrow and joy.

2 Nephi 2:11
11. For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first- born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad...
15.And to bring about his eternal purposes in the end of man...it must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter.

President Uchtdorf says, “would the marathon runner feel the triumph of finishing the race had she not felt the pain of the hours of pushing against her limits? Would the pianist feel the joy of mastering an intricate sonata without the painstaking hours of practice? ... Adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise...Our heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy.”

For me, things I really want in life never come right away even though I know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing and put my full effort into achieving them. Through this I have been forced to learn patience and perseverance and develop a special gratitude for what I am finally eventually blessed with. For example, I am a nurse. I had no idea when I made my initial decision to become one that my educational progress and attempts to get my first job would be as difficult as it was. I knew education was good, and I knew I should go into nursing. As soon as I figured out that nursing was the right path for me I did all my research into what classes I needed to apply to 2 year programs (as opposed to the 4 year school’s programs) so I could keep a part time job and be able to pay my own way through school without any loans while living at home. When I started, my priority registration date was the last one since I was new to that school and all the classes I needed were full. I had no luck sitting in and trying to add them. It took me over 2 semesters before I was finally able to have a registration date early enough to get the science classes I needed. Once I got an early enough registration date to get the classes I needed, I disregarded counselor’s recommendations of only taking one major science class a semester and I took as many of them at once in order to be able to apply to the nursing program as soon as possible since I already experienced a year delay and that particular program only accepted applicants once a year with the deadline approaching. I didn’t want to wait any more longer.

Once I applied I just knew I’d get in even though it was a lottery system and they had 4 times as many applicants as spaces for because I knew I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and I felt sure I would be blessed in that way. I wasn’t. So the next semester I took other classes required to get into 4 year schools I hadn’t taken yet, completed my AA and applied to American River’s 2 year nursing program that accepts applications spring and fall. Again, I was not selected. I had already taken every class I needed for anything up until that point so the next semester I took 6 PE units, ASL, and another class to keep a full load of 12 units and applied again to both schools as well as Sac State and CSU East Bay that thankfully don’t use the lottery system. I didn’t get into the 2 year programs again, but I did get accepted to both Sac State and CSU East Bay.

I went to Sac State and when it got hard and I wished I didn’t have so much homework, I reminded myself how hard I worked to be there, that it was my choice to be there, and told myself I was going to like it. Sometimes it worked. I decided to take the option being offered of combining my last year into one semester and graduated in 2 and a half years instead of three in December of 2008.

After Christmas started my job hunt. I studied for just under a month to take my boards all the while looking for work. I passed the boards, and then turned my focus to 100% job seeking. I prayed every day for something. Nothing. After 3 months or so I decided I wasn’t being specific enough in my prayers as to when I wanted to find a job and asked to find a job the next day, rather than just finding a job in general. The next day my institute instructor called me with a job opportunity...only it wasn’t using my nursing licence or degree. Looks like I forgot to be complete when I decided to be specific. But I recognized an answer to a prayer, and I took advantage of the opportunity presented to me anyway and began working as an in home support service provider for a blind woman who was in her ward. It was frustrating, yet humbling to me to be earning (per hour) about 1/3 of what a person with my education and qualifications is worth, doing things anybody off the street could do.

I spent the rest of 2009 working for her and still couldn’t find work as a new graduate RN. It was embarrassing for me considering most people associate nursing with jobs that are in demand, when the reality is, with this economy it is experienced nurses who are in demand. With hospitals undergoing budget cuts, inexperienced new grads are unaffordable and many of the new graduate nursing programs were eliminated creating a higher applicant pool in the few programs that weren’t cut. In addition to this, because the economy is so bad, many nurses who would normally be retiring are putting off retirement, and experienced nurses who left work to have families are coming back to help their families earn enough to live on taking the job openings that otherwise would have gone to a new graduate nurse in better economic times.

2009 was the hardest year of my life. I wondered why I had bothered going through the trouble and stress of combining my last two semesters to be done a semester early if I wasn’t even able to be working until well after my originally planned graduation date. In my worst moments, I wondered why I even bothered becoming a nurse. I decided that my job hunt needed to be drastically changed since it kept yielding the same negative results. (I have over 200 emails in an especially depressing folder in my inbox illustrating my bad luck- and those aren’t counting the rejections I received in person, through snail mail or over the phone). I gave my blind lady until the end of January this year and then quit to once again put my entire focus into finding my career job. I re-vamped my motivation and job seeking energies and kept a positive outlook. I felt really good about 2010 and was certain things were going to turn around. I decided to apply to skilled nursing facilities and received good feelings about that choice. More positive feelings than I had in applying anywhere else. I was certain I was going to find a job in a SNF, even though I had friends that had already applied to several snf’s without any luck. I applied to 2 convalescent homes in Antioch, and every single skilled nursing facility in Sacramento, Woodland, West Sacramento, Carmichael, Elk Grove, and Roseville that I could find listed on the web. It took a few weeks to hit them all and I’d go to about 5 or so facilities a day. The next week I would go back to the places I had applied to the last week to follow up and continued applying to new places.

Every place I went to gave me the response that they didn’t want anybody with less than 3 years experience or didn’t have any openings. I felt so let down and wondered why I had felt so good about applying to all those SNF’s. I really felt something would come of it. I was ready to work for free in exchange for experience, but nobody would take me. My last day out took me out to Roseville and I applied to every SNF I had found online again without much hope given me from those I spoke with at each facility. I went back home to Antioch not quite sure what to do and I began contemplating other career options.

The first counselor in my bishopric had given me a contact who had a registry type service for health care professionals and I was in the process of registering with them, but they had told me they didn’t have much available for an RN without any experience either but to call them when I did.

Finally in April I got a call back from one of the last SNFs I had applied to in Roseville that wanted to set up an interview. I had applied to so many I was embarrassed that I had to get their address from them and couldn’t remember which one it was when they gave me their name. I interviewed, and was offered the job right then and started working 4 days later as the Assistant Director of Nursing. I can’t be happier with the work I’ve been doing, the position I’ve been given and the people I work with. It was a hard, really hard, long wait but my nursing degree, licence and skills are finally being put to use in a way that is satisfying for me.

Those 16 months post graduation were really hard, however, I know if I had gotten a job right off the bat I wouldn’t have the same appreciation or joy that I do now in working. I will never feel like I wish I didn’t have to go to work and will always be happy even when it gets stressful because I know what I felt like without it. I’m not saying that’s how I’d choose to do it again, but I can see the positive that came from the negative and the truthfulness of the scripture “there must needs be opposition in all things”.

My favorite quote from President Uchtdorf’s talk is: “It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop...Enduring adversity is not the only thing you must do to experience a happy life. Let me repeat: how you react to adversity and temptation is a critical factor in whether or not you arrive at your own happily ever after.”

We all have trials. We all have temptations. What we do with them will determine whether our story has a happily ever after or not. Our decisions here and now will effect our happiness in the short term, long term and eternally.

We should remember that happiness is possible now. It’s not something to just to look forward to at the very end. “Happily ever after” is the ultimate goal, but there’s no rule that says there’s no happiness allowed in the mean time.

It’s nice to know that trials and tribulations aren’t a permanent experience. We all must go through it, but we have such a wonderful promise if we make good choices in the face of them and endure it well as found in Doctrine and Covenants 121: 7-8

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thy adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

Even in hard times, through the atonement of Christ, a good attitude, and maybe some chocolate and a good nap, happiness is within our reach. We shouldn’t let life pass by waiting for the happiness to find us. We should be actively involved in finding joy in our every day lives. President Monson gave a conference talk in October of 2008 titled “finding Joy in the Journey” where he says “Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family.”

President Uchtdorf urges us to find our happily ever after through living the gospel of Jesus Christ. He says, “Learn to love your Heavenly Father with all your heart, might and mind. Fill your souls with virtue, and love goodness. Always strive to bring out the best in yourself and others”

He counsels us live the standards in "For the Strength of Youth", as our own Stake presidency has recently reinforced and urged us to do. There is wisdom in following those guidelines presented in that pamphlet. Happiness will come to us now and later if we do so.

I know that life is hard sometimes. But I know that those hard times are necessary so that we may have a greater appreciation and understanding of the joy in the good times that follow. I know that happiness is possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ and in living His gospel. I know we have the capability of ensuring our own happily ever after to our own adventurous stories if we do.

I would like to end by bearing testimony that these things are true, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Operation: be happy

1. Keep a clean bedroom
2. Pray on my knees twice a day and keep a prayer in my heart in between
3. spend quality time with the scriptures every day
4. go to bed by 11
5. wake up by 7
6. take a multi vitamin
7. eat nutrient dense foods and avoid unnecessary calories
8. get at least 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week
9. spend time with other happy people
10. avoid spiritually damaging or otherwise depressing forms of entertainment and people

2009 had left me feeling a little less than peppy, and I got to a point where I was determined to feel better. Just over a week ago Tuesday night I created this list of 10 basic things I’ve discovered throughout my life that I need to do on a regular basis to feel good spiritually, physically and emotionally (minus # 5. I’ve never felt good waking up before 9 no matter how early I went to bed. #’s 4 and 5 are personal goals I’m failing at right now, but making progress. I’m hoping for some truthfulness in the saying “Early to bed, early to rise…” However, based on actual experience I do feel better when I get enough sleep in general).

Since implementing my “operation: be happy” plan I have improved in the areas I was slacking on and I’m starting to feel more like my cheerful self. It feels good.

A message to my sisters

I’m going to have to change the name of my blog to Katie’s blog about something (instead of nothing). Once again, I don’t find the following post to be pointless- and for that I apologize. Sunday was ward conference. I was supposed to give a 5 minute message in Relief Society. Since I was not in town that day, I wrote my message during the week before and my 1st counselor read it for me. I wrote this message specifically to my sisters in the 5th ward, but I think there are parts of it that every one can take something from.

My dear sisters,

I am sorry I’m not here to share this message with you in person. I hope that the same spirit I feel as I’m writing this to you will be conveyed through the reading of this letter and be present as you hear it. Actually, I’m rather grateful to have Rachel read this instead of my delivering it in person, because it will save me the embarrassment of crying in front of you.

Usually when I’m asked to teach a lesson, give a talk, or share a message without a topic being assigned one of two things happen: Either I know what I need to say right away and it’s the easiest talk/lesson/message ever written or, I think of a topic right away, but then think that’s not what I’m supposed to go with, struggle to find what I think it is I’m supposed to share, write and rewrite the lesson or talk only to return to the original topic I had thought of first. This time lucky for me there was no struggling and is one of those times where the message practically writes itself.

If there is one thing I would want for us to know at this time, it is that we are loved. I know we know this. It is such a simple truth and a truth that has been taught to us since we were sunbeams: “I am a child of God, and He has sent me here...”, but it is a truth that seems to be easily forgotten, and every once in a while we need a little reminder. The knowledge that God loves us is not just a comforting idea in our heads to be repeated as a “Sunday school answer”- it is a comforting feeling. It amazes me how much love our Heavenly Father has for each and every one of us as individuals and as a group of sisters in the Antioch 5th ward. My desire for us is that we are able to not only know in our heads that we are loved, but to be able to feel of it.

Growing up, I had always known God loved me. Primary made sure I knew. I knew it in my head and could repeat it whenever I was asked. When I was in Young Women’s we had a lesson about God’s love for us and how we were of worth. We were encouraged to ask our Heavenly Father during our next personal prayer if he loved us. I thought this was a stupid assignment. I’m not fond of people telling me what I should be praying about, especially in my personal prayers. I already knew God loved me, everybody knows that. During my prayers that evening, despite my dislike of being told what to do, I found myself sincerely asking my Heavenly Father if he loved me. The feeling that overcame me before I could even finish formulating my question was surprising. My answer wasn’t just a confirmation in my head of what I already knew was true like I expected or the normal “this is right and good” feeling, but an overwhelming feeling I was sent of how much I was cared for and loved- that God loved me was no longer just an abstract idea in my mind that I could repeat in Sunday school. I wasn’t expecting that feeling. I wasn’t expecting any feeling, at least not a feeling as strong and sure as that one was. It brought tears to my eyes as my understanding of what I meant to my Heavenly Father hit me. It left such an impression that I can remember that experience to share with you 10 or 11 years later.

I love my Heavenly Father, and I am so grateful to know of the love that he has for me and for you, and for each of us sisters in the Antioch 5th young single adult ward. I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ that makes it possible for us to return to Him. I love my savior. He loved us so much that he gave his life in ransom for ours. The scriptures teach us that: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son...” (John 3:16) and “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). We are loved. We are of worth. We are cared about. It’s a wonderful feeling that I hope we are all experiencing and never forget.

Sometimes, many times, God’s love is seen and experienced through the love that we have for each other. In this way we also prove our love to Him. It is not necessary for us to die for those we love, but there are other ways we can “lay down our lives for our friends”. Mosiah 2:17 says “... when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” I know that we all have a deep love for our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ, it is what brings us together as sisters in Zion. I truly appreciate the love that we have for our sisters here in this ward. I can feel of the love that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for each of us and I know that our love of each other is a reflection and a symbol of the love we have for Them. I’m grateful for visiting teaching and the opportunity to share our love for our sisters, Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ through this service. I appreciate all of our efforts we give each month to strive to get every one of us visited, I know it’s not easy. I am grateful for my visiting teachers and the time they take to share their love for me.

I want you to know that you are loved by so many people. Your family and friends love you, my counselors and I love you, your visiting teachers love you, the bishopric and their wives love you, the stake RS presidency loves you, Stake leadership and general authorities love you, but most importantly Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ love you. I know we know it, but I hope we can feel it because knowing it in our heads isn’t nearly as nice as feeling it in our hearts. We are of worth. We are known. We are loved. We should know it, and we should feel it.

Finally I would just like to thank you for everything you do and for all that you contribute to our Relief Society. We are a fantastic group, and I feel so blessed to be getting to know all of you.

I feel like I should write: Sincerely, or Love, Katie, since I wrote this like a letter, but I guess I should end it the way we’re supposed to: in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Christ’s atonement and the need for the resurrection

I got to give another talk in church today. It was “invite a friend Sunday” so our talks were geared towards those who might not be familiar with our church. Ta daaa, here it is if you couldn’t get it live:

Have you ever tried to complete a crossword puzzle- or for those of you who prefer numbers to words- a sudoku grid with a pen? Have you ever typed an essay without once hitting the delete button? Remember “do overs” in elementary school when you didn’t get it right the first try? Or maybe for some of us it’s a little more recent than elementary school. Can you imagine going through life without any way to correct our mistakes? What a drag that would be! How long would it take until we just gave up in frustration?

Before this world was created, God had a plan for us. We would be sent to this world. We would obtain a body, like He had. We would experience life and all the joys and pains that come with these bodies. Our lives would be a time to prove our faithfulness and love for Him. When our mortal lives were complete, the plan was (and still is) for us to return back to live with Him again.

When we were created, God knew that we would be imperfect. He knew human nature was not a sinless one. He planned on that, however, in the Pearl of Great Price, from the book of Moses, we learn that “no unclean thing can dwell” in God’s presence. How would we be able to return to live with him, if we are imperfect, unclean beings? Without a way to repent and become clean there would be no point in going through this life. It would be like trying to complete a crossword puzzle with a pen, or typing an essay without a delete button, or having no “do overs”. We’d never win. What is it we’d like to win? Eternal life, exaltation in the life to come, living again in the presence of God. Lucky for us we have been given a way so that life is not frustratingly pointless. We can win.

God knew we would not be able to keep his commandments in perfectness. Christ was the only one to accomplish such a feat. The laws of justice demand a price for sin. There is no way we could ever pay that price ourselves. Christ, our Savior, the only one who had no price to pay, paid our debt for us, through which justice is met and we receive mercy and salvation.

Jesus Christ volunteered in the life before this one to take upon him the sins of the world. He was born and was the only person in the history of the world to live a perfect life. He was the only qualified person to do what he did for us. He gave his perfect life in ransom for our imperfect lives. In the Garden of Gethsamane he took upon himself the sins, pains, afflictions and burdens of the world. As a final sacrifice he gave his life on the cross. He would not stay dead forever. 3 days after his burial, he rose as a resurrected being. His spirit and body had been reunited and he lives again. He had overcome death and paved the way for us that we might overcome death as well. Without Him, our bodies would lie as dust once our spirits left us at the end of our mortal existence, and our spirits would be in such a state that would be unfit to return to our Father’s presence leaving us under Satan’s dominion. Christ paid the price we could not pay ourselves to save us from such a fate.

The atonement accomplishes two things. First it overcomes physical also known as temporal death. Christ was the first person to be resurrected. We too will be resurrected. Everyone will have the gift of immortality in the life to come. After our bodies die, our spirit and our body will become separated. When we are resurrected our spirit and body will be reunited in a perfected form.

The second thing the atonement does is saves us from spiritual death which is not the same as temporal, or physical death. Spiritual death is the separation of ourselves from God. Remember how no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God? While every one will be saved from the physical death and be resurrected, to be saved from spiritual death requires personal choice and repentance. The atonement allows us to repent for our sins and cleanse ourselves if we so choose. It’s like being allowed to use a pencil while working on a crossword, or the delete button when typing an essay or using “do overs” when playing a game and you mess up first thing. It allows us to win.

Can you imagine what would happen if Christ hadn’t overcome these two forms of death for us? If we’re not able to return to God, where would that leave us? In the Book of Mormon, the 2nd Book of Nephi, Chapter 9 verses 6-10 describes the importance of a resurrection and what would happen without it and the atonement:

“6. For as death hath passed upon all men, to fulfil the merciful plan of the great Creator, there must needs be a power of resurrection, and the resurrection must needs come unto man by reason of the fall; and the fall came by reason of transgression; and because man became fallen they were cut off from the presence of the Lord.”

What this verse is saying is we need the resurrection to fulfil God’s plan that he has for us- the plan for us to return to Him. We need a resurrection because we have death. We have death because of the fall of Adam that occurred in the Garden of Eden. With the fall of Adam came not only physical death, but spiritual death which is being cut off from the presence of the Lord.

7. “Wherefore, it must needs be an infinite atonement– save it should be an infinite atonement this corruption could not put on incorruption. Wherefore, the first judgment which came upon man must needs have remained to an endless duration. And if so, this flesh must have laid down to rot and to crumble to its mother earth to rise no more.

8. O the wisdom of God, in his mercy and Grace! For behold, if the flesh should rise no more our spirits must become subject to that angel who fell from before the presence of the Eternal God and became the devil, to rise no more.

9. And our spirits must have become like unto him, and we become devils, angels to a devil, to be shut out from the presence of our God...

10. O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit.”

So as we can see from these verses here, without the atonement, and without a resurrection, we would become subject to Satan, but God made sure that we would have a way to make it back to Him. He wouldn’t send us here with no hope or chance to return. Who wants to play a game you know you have no chance of winning? He wants us to win this one. He loves us so much he gave his only begotten son, the only person in the world who had no price to pay for his sins, as a sacrifice to pay the price for ours. He lives again, and because of him, we will live again and have a way to repent of our sins so that we might regain our Heavenly Father’s presence.

I know that these things I have shared with you are true. I am grateful for the atonement and what it means for us. Without it life would be frustratingly pointless and God’s plan could not be possible. I love my savior, Jesus Christ and I love my Heavenly Father. Life is not frustratingly pointless. Because of the atonement, if we play the game as best as we can and endure to the end, we can win.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A post about something in a blog about nothing

Today I had to give a talk in church. The delivery was awful, but I had fun writing it, and yes I’m one of those who are too nervous to speak without every word pre- thought out and written down to be read from. I don’t normally post personal meaningful posts in this, my blog about nothing, but here it is anyway. I wasn’t really given a topic to speak on, but rather a reason as to why I had been chosen to speak and was told that I’d know what to say once I started outlining my talk. Here’s what I came up with.
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I wish I could tell you how excited and happy I am to be up here today, but because of what I have learned and been taught in this church I know that lying is a sin. So I content myself to tell you how happy and excited I will be once this is over and I can sit back down.

I consider myself to be very blessed to have always had the church be a part of my life and to have been born into the family that I was born into. I remember when I was in my teens, I was pondering on the concept of eternity. I was trying to wrap my mind around such an awesome idea. I couldn’t begin to comprehend forever... and ever and ever and ever. The more I thought about it, the more panicked I became. Oh my goodness. Forever. It was scary for about 30 seconds until I remembered that I wouldn’t be alone. My parents had been sealed in the Oakland temple. My brother’s, sister and I had been born under the covenant. If I didn’t do anything horrific, like lie in a talk in sacrament meeting, I would be with my favorite people forever, and I was ok with that. I’d be ok existing for an eternity if my family could be there with me. As soon as I remembered this truth I was instantly at ease and the panic that had begun to grow faded out. It is my goal in life to be able to provide the same love, learning and knowledge that I have been blessed to grow up with to my future children. These blessings of the atonement that make eternal life possible give me peace as I look forward to eternity and gratitude as I look back on my past.

I have many fond memories of my childhood, and having 2 older brothers there were many other interesting experiences that I was slightly less fond of. I was the victim of unending merciless teasing and the target of many practical jokes. I didn’t always feel as blessed as I do now to have been born into my family, but we had a lot of fun together, too. I appreciate the effort my parents put into teaching us the things that are important when we were still young even if it seemed to be ineffective at the time. My brothers and I had gotten into trouble more than once for not taking family home evening seriously, making light of serious topics and laughing at inappropriate times. Despite what seemed to be failed efforts at creating spiritual, happy, obedient children, that would grow up to be spiritual, happy, righteous adults not all lessons were lost on us.

I can remember the first time I ever repented. I wasn’t even 8 years old yet, I was probably around 6. Seeing as how I was so young, it wasn’t really necessary for me to repent, but it was a learning experience I was given so that I might know how. I don’t remember what I had done (perhaps that’s the miracle of forgiveness working it’s magic, or maybe it was just so long ago and I so young there’s no way to remember), but I had been sent away from the dinner table for some form of misbehavior. There were many things strange with this. First, I wasn’t usually the one being sent away from the table. Knowing my situation, I was probably provoked by either one of my 3 brothers and was being unjustly dealt with.

Secondly, being sent away from the table was the opposite form of punishment I usually got at dinner time. I was used to being told to "sit right there until a certain fraction of the green things were gone from my plate". I was not a picky eater, but there were a few things I did not care for that my family tended to have on a regular basis and we’d have a sit out until I’d get bored and eat my peas so I could go play.

Another thing that was strange about my being sent away from the table this time was I was not sent to my room, which was usually where I would be sent when I was in trouble. I was told to go to my parent’s room. After a minute or two by myself sitting on the floor in my parents room my dad came in. He wasn’t angry. He told me that when we do something wrong, we should apologize to those we wronged. This was nothing new to me. I was very familiar with the art of "I’m sorry" and the expected response "It’s ok" both in theory and in practice. I must have been forced to say I’m sorry multiple times a day to my brothers, to my parents, to our pet dog, to my neighbor friends. I was forced to say "It’s ok" even more often than I was forced to say I’m sorry. This was mostly in response to my brothers after they were forced to apologize to me. Hearing this I told my dad I was sorry. He then said that when we do something wrong, we not only have to apologize to the person we were mean to, we have to make it right if we can, and we have to say we’re sorry to God too. He then asked if I could say a prayer to tell Heavenly Father I was sorry for what I had done. For the first time in my life I told my Heavenly Father I was sorry. I was familiar with repentance in theory thanks to primary and family home evenings, but not in practice. This was new to me. I had never considered repentance as something for me, but rather for other bad people. This lesson of repentance at such a young age was something that stayed with me and something that taught me the importance of taking advantage of the atonement. I was taught how to repent so that I might be able to do so on my own once I grew up and actually needed it. It was like a practice round with the help and guidance of my dad so when the time came for the real thing I’d be ready. It also showed me that repentance was necessary for me personally, not just every one else who did really bad things like I had thought, but for me too who did only kinda bad things...but only when provoked.

Every once in awhile as a child I was given the option of pursuing different things even though I would have been content to play outside with my bike and skates with my brothers and neighborhood kids. Because these choices were presented to me as my own to make and not something I was being told to do I always gave each decision serious and lengthy thought. At least 30 seconds worth, which in child time when your mom is waiting for an answer is actually quite long. Sometimes I’d require clarification on what it was exactly that I’d be signing up for before I’d say yes, like when I was asked if I wanted to go to Brownies. What are brownies? Do you make brownies there? I almost always accepted these opportunities. Some didn’t quite work out or last very long, like the brownies, dance lessons, or soccer. Others were decisions I was glad to be given the opportunity to make and have brought a lot of joy and gladness into my life, like when I said "yeah ok" when my mom asked if I’d like to take piano lessons from my grandma, or when I said yes, I would like to be baptized when I turned 8.

I remember the day I was asked if being baptized was something I’d want. I felt empowered and important to be given the option with something so important. In my primary classes there never seemed to be an option. When they spoke of baptism it was always "when you turn 8 and get baptized" not "if you get baptized when you turn 8". When I was asked I stopped and did my serious 30 second reflection. Considered saying no since I had the power to do so but I’d only be saying no to say no and I didn’t want to say no so I said yes and I’ve never regretted it. Now, when I was 3 years old my mom was pregnant with my younger brother and she asked me if I wanted the baby to be a boy or a girl. I honestly thought I was getting to choose so I thought about it and considered my options carefully and after my typical 30 second reflection came to the conclusion that I’d like another brother. THAT was a decision I grew to regret after a few years. I kicked myself for not making him a girl when I had the chance and wondered what I had been thinking, so I amused myself with dressing him up in my dress-up clothes and pretending he was a girl anyway. I eventually grew to like him as a boy (which was good because I got in trouble for dressing him like a girl), and ended up getting a little sister later on so it all turned out in the end. My decision to get baptized on the other hand was never looked back on as a mistake. When I was baptized I was determined to never sin again. I figured Jesus did it, I can too. Unfortunately, try as I might to be like Jesus, I found those repentance lessons with my dad in my earlier years to come in handy.

As I grew up I continued to have many little experiences that would help build and strengthen my testimony that my parents and primary teachers had kindled in me. When I turned 12 my new favorite activity was baptisms for the dead. It was so exciting for me to know that I was helping someone who couldn’t help themselves in such an eternal way. The joy I feel in those moments is something that I can hardly believe and I can never help but smile. One experience I had with baptisms for the dead left me smiling for a completely different reason. A few of my friends and I were going to be baptized and confirmed for some family names my grandma had sent while on a youth temple trip to Oakland. Usually, you’d go in and be confirmed for those who have already been baptized by others and then go on to do baptisms in order to limit the number of times you’d change, but since we were doing my family names that I particularly wanted the experience of doing myself, my 2 friends and I were the only ones who did baptisms first and then the confirmations for the same names we had been baptized for after. I was being baptized for my set of names, many of which had the last name Pigg. When "Ima" came up I didn’t have time to react because nearly as soon as the name is said you’re being sent under the water. I was reverently laughing to myself in my mind and thinking what it must have been like to live a life with such a name while I was changing into a dry jumper before I went to be confirmed. I felt I had control of myself, but I was worried I’d lose it and laugh out loud when it came time for Ima Pigg to receive the holy ghost. It was one of the most difficult times I’d ever had in keeping my laughter in check. If I’m ever going to get myself in trouble it will be from laughing. Not including all the times my brothers and I had driven the spirit off with our laughter during family home evenings, one other time in particular my cousin and I laughed together so much that we were put into separate rooms by my aunt/his mom. After she left us alone for a while she brought us together, told us she didn’t mind that we were happy and laughing, but there is a time and place for everything. She then read a scripture to us. I don’t remember what the scripture was, but I think it had something to do with thou shalt not laugh at your younger brother/cousin while he’s choking on milk.

With my track record of laughing at inappropriate times I was so proud of myself for making it through Ima’s confirmation, although if anybody had been looking at me they would have seen the biggest smile in the world on my face and if I had seen you looking at me I probably would have cracked. This is why I personally keep my eyes closed during prayers, I learned at a young age the tragedy that can occur if you make eye contact with a silly friend, cousin or brother during a moment that is supposed to be spiritual .

I used to think that because I had grown up in the church and never had one major life changing spiritual experience, or any one amazing single experience where it all hit me at once, that my testimony must not have the same strength or validity as others who had amazing stories prefacing the birth or growth of their testimony. I had never fallen away from the church only to realize the church was true. I wasn’t a convert that found the church through missionaries. I never had visions or had anything dramatic or miraculous occur to give me a great "how I got my testimony" story. While I was a teen after hearing young women and Sunday school lessons about testimonies and how we should find out the truth of the gospel for ourselves, I prayed many times that I might know for myself with out a doubt. The only thing was I already did know. I had always known. There was nothing new that came to me as a result of those prayers. It wasn’t necessary for anything dramatic or huge to happen to know what I knew.

While I was at Sac State the last few years I was never able to take institute classes during the day because my nursing classes and clinicals kept me busy during those times every semester, so I would go every Wednesday to the night class. I always looked forward to these nights. I didn’t usually have time for many fun social things even on the weekends, and going to institute halfway through the week in the middle of my stressful nursing courses was a source of strength for me, and I loved the sister who taught the class. I’m not one who will voluntarily answer a question in any kind of class. This class was never large and I wasn’t the only one not willing to offer opinions and thoughts. The teacher’s way around this was to ask a question and have every person give their input going around the room. One night, she wanted to know all of our conversion stories saying even if we’re born in the church there is some point when we come to know on our own and experience our own conversion. She herself is a convert and has an amazing story that I’ve been able to hear more than once and can sit and listen to again and again.

We went through the room and every body had their own amazing conversion story to tell whether they were born in the church or not. It came to be my turn to tell my own conversion story. I had nothing amazing to tell them. I told them I- like a few others- had been born in the church, that while I had probably relied on my parent’s testimony as a child I can’t think of a time when I didn’t know it to be true. That family prayer and scripture study led me to my own personal scripture study and prayer as I got older. There wasn’t one point in my life where I can say this is exactly when it happened. This day at this time is when I knew for myself the church was true. Not one prayer in particular, or one particular time of reading the scriptures. I had a lot of little events and experiences all the way from when I was a child until even now that helped build and strengthen my testimony. It took me awhile before I realized that just because I didn’t have one point in time where I had a clearly defined moment where my testimony was born or significantly strengthened that it didn’t mean my testimony was any less strong, valid or real than any other person’s who might have had one of those amazing stories to tell. A testimony is amazing all on it’s own, regardless of the story it comes with.
I feel I have been blessed to have been raised in a home where I was able to know and develop a relationship with my savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the role the atonement had in my life and for what it means for my future and my future beyond this life.

Mosiah 4:6-7 says:

I say unto you, if ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and his matchless power, and his wisdom, and his patience, and his long-suffering towards the children of men; and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the world, that thereby salvation might come to him that should put his trust in the Lord, and should be diligent in keeping his commandments, and continue in the faith even unto the end of his life, I mean the life of the mortal body–

I say, that this is the man who receiveth salvation, through the atonement which was prepared from the foundation of the world for all mankind, which ever were since the fall of Adam, or who are, or who ever shall be, even unto the end of the world.

I know that if we follow King Benjamin’s counsel to continue in the faith and keep the Lord’s commandments that we can gain salvation through the atonement of Christ. I know eternity will be tolerable because the atonement has made it possible for families to be together and I won’t be alone. I am grateful for the early education my parents gave me in teaching me how to take the atonement personally. While I don’t have an amazing story to accompany my testimony, I do know of the truthfulness of this gospel and the love God and Jesus Christ has for me and all of us.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.