Saturday, February 13, 2010

Love and Beauty

A few days ago somebody on facebook posted his favorite lovey dovey quote to celebrate Valentine’s Day: “You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her.” As soon as I read it, it rubbed me the wrong way. I know it was probably supposed to be saying something deep and meaningful and referring to inner beauty rather than outer beauty but I have yet to interpret this quote in a way that makes me like it unless it’s talking about how people appear to be more attractive once you get to see the goodness that is in them rather than just liking the outer appearance.

I don’t like this quote because it gives men credit for the beauty of women. Maybe that wasn’t the intent of the quote and maybe I do not understand it in the way it was meant, but in reading it I feel like it’s saying a woman isn’t beautiful unless a man loves her. “She is beautiful because you love her”. Does that mean she wasn’t beautiful before he loved her? That isn’t right. To me this is either saying that she’s ugly to everyone else but beautiful to the person who loves her, or she’s beautiful to everyone because you love her (like Johnny Lingo’s 8 cow wife, Muhanna). No matter how I interpret it I can’t agree.

A beautiful woman is not beautiful because YOU love her. She is beautiful because SHE loves HERSELF. She loves herself because God loves her. She proves her love to God through keeping His commandments and treating her body and herself with respect. Through this love between God and his daughters we become beautiful. It’s the same process for men. This is what makes a person beautiful. For that I have to believe that you DO (or should) love a woman because she is beautiful and by saying a woman is only beautiful because you love her is not giving credit where credit is due.

This quote bothered me so much, and when I saw a girl “like” it I really thought she was not thinking it through. I don’t want to be beautiful because a man loves me. That is not a compliment. I want a man to love me because I am beautiful in the way that I understand beautiful to mean.