I see nothing funny about this

It always seems that whenever I need to send something in the mail my mail carrier knows it and puts extra effort in to getting their route done unusually early. This way, they are done and gone before I can put my letters out for them to pick up. Any other day my mail comes between noon and 3. On this particular day I had a few time sensitive letters I needed to get out. At 11 that morning I went out to put those letters in my mailbox thinking this time I’d be early enough to beat my mail carrier. Apparently there is no changing the ways of the universe. Had I gone out at 7 in the morning with letters to mail it would have been the day the postal workers go on strike. I collected the envelopes my mail person had so promptly delivered and took them and my own freshly stamped envelopes back into the house. Oh well, I didn’t hold it against my mail carrier for being efficient. I was going out to run some other errands anyway, it would be easy to stop at a mailbox somewhere.

I ended up going to a nearby grocery store that I knew had a mail box in front of it. I turned down a parking aisle and noticed a bum-ish looking older man sitting on the ground to the side of the mail receptacle. What an interesting place to sit. I got out of my car and walked towards the big blue US postal box and the bum man sitting next to it. We both saw each other looking at the other. It was hard not to look at him sitting there on the sidewalk next to the mailbox I needed to get to. As I got closer I gave a half smile, my reserved attempt at being friendly. Instead of watching me like he did when I was further away he responded to my reserved smile and eye contact by shyly looking down at his hands and chuckling. I was intrigued. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what had made him laugh like that. Maybe it was me. Maybe he thought I walked funny, or smiled funny, or looked funny. Maybe he knew something I didn’t, like a postal worker had just come and picked up the mail early. Maybe he was just crazy. I placed my mail into the slot and looked over the mail box at the bum man again to see if I could get any other clues to his amusement. He continued to avoid direct eye contact and sat there smiling at his hands. He discretely watched me through the corner of his eye without turning his gaze away from his hands in his lap. He looked like he was trying to hold back more laughter. I guess I wasn’t meant to be in on the joke. I started to think perhaps I really was the joke. Looking around I couldn’t find anything that I thought would be interesting or amusing enough to bring a person to laughter... that is except the bum man himself sitting on the sidewalk laughing at who knows what. Maybe he was laughing at himself. I wanted to laugh too, but then I’d be the crazy one laughing to herself at who knows what. I should have joined him on the sidewalk.

Moe

I was scrummaging around in my sock drawer yesterday trying to find two socks that matched when... AHHH! M’GASH! (That’s "oh my gosh" for those of you who don’t speak my language)...perched as pretty as can be on top of my pink fuzzy sock was a dark, 8 legged critter about the size of a quarter including legs. I decided to try to remove this beast from my beloved socks so I got a cup like container and tried to usher him in with plans to flush him down the toilet. From the angle he was at I couldn’t tell which end was his butt and which end was his head. I placed the cup at the easiest end to reach, and alas, it was not his head- it was his butt. He scurried deeper into my sock drawer never to be seen again.


Ok, just kidding, that would make for a stupid story. Actually don’t get your hopes up, it’s still a stupid story. Anyway, I was too afraid to go digging around for him and I had to go, so I carefully selected a matching pair of socks and left hoping the spider would disappear like a bad dream and not return. This morning my mom woke me up and then notices something on my wall by the doorway and tells me she found my spider. And so she did. There he was in all his glory hanging out by the door frame. We exchanged greetings and I named him Moe. Mom told me if I didn’t kill him he’d find his way to my bed at night. I told Moe if he stayed right there on the wall where I could see him, it would not be necessary for him to meet with the bottom of my Avia running shoes. And so he stayed put. Through out the day whenever I’d walk in and out of my room, I’d say hello and goodbye to Moe. Every time just like he promised, Moe was hanging out by the door frame. When I went to my room tonight to start looking for pajamas something felt wrong as soon as I had entered the door. I looked for Moe. Dun dun duuunnnnn...Moe was not at his post. I did a quick sweep along the walls and ceiling. Oh great. Mom was right, he was going to be in my bed. I looked down at my feet. Half way underneath a box of stuff I need to donate or throw away was Moe just chillin on the floor trying to be all sneaky hiding under the box. Hide and go seek was not on the approved list of activities for the day. I moved the box off of him and he knew he was in trouble so he froze. I started looking around for my Avia’s, but then I couldn’t do it. Even though he broke the rules, Moe and I became friends. He was my pal, albeit a creepy, disgusting, I would only touch you using full force with a running shoe friend, but still we had bonded today. I just couldn’t, but I knew if I left him alone he would for sure find his way to my bed while I slept (apparently we still have trust issues despite the bonding). So I got that cup thing I used yesterday and trapped him under it, slid a paper under Moe to create a ceiling. I flipped it upside down so I was holding Moe in the cup and took him outside. I let Moe keep his life. He should be very grateful, it’s not every day I let a spider go free.

Pero vs Postum

I miss Postum. I really do. Pero just isn’t as good. I don’t know how many of you, my lovely readers, know what Pero or Postum are. They are two kinds of hot beverages with different tastes that are both naturally caffeine free. "Mormon coffee" if you will. I am a Latter Day Saint aka Mormon, and as a part of my religion I don’t drink coffee or tea. For me personally it goes for sodas too, I won’t drink the caffeinated ones. I was taught not to drink caffeinated sodas growing up even though it is not exactly against the LDS religion to drink sodas with caffeine in them. When I was 16 I went to a Halloween party and feeling a bit rebellious, threw all caution to the wind and indulged in Pepsi and Dr. Pepper. When I got home that night I went to bed, only to wake up a short time later to vomit. Lesson learned. When I was a kid, I would see my dad drinking Postum. I tried it once. I thought it tasted nasty and had a funny name. When I was in highschool, probably around the same time I experimented with caffeine I decided to give Postum another try. I would drink it with a teaspoon or two of sugar and a dollop of canned milk. I became used to it and even liked it and grew to love it. After a while I started cutting out the milk, then the sugar and was drinking it plain. About a year ago they stopped making Postum for some unknown awful reason.

While I was living with her, my grandma always had both Pero and Postum in her house. I tried her Pero once. I thought it tasted nasty and had a weird name that means "but" in Spanish. It really is nasty, so I stuck with Postum, but now Postum ceases to exist and I miss it, especially in winter. In attempts to adjust to no Postum I began drinking Pero. It is best if you make it with milk and chocolate syrup... and leave the Pero out. But really, I’ve been able to tolerate it with a ton of creamer and a packet of Splenda. Today I drank it plain with no Splenda or creamer. It was tolerable. If Pero and Postum were pet dogs, Postum would be the beloved pet who would be allowed to stay inside, while Pero would be shunned and left to sleep out in the rain. Then Postum would die. There would be tears. In attempts to replace the hole that Postum left, Pero would be allowed inside only he smells funny, but you don’t want to kick him back out because in a weird way even though he smells funny it’s almost like Postum is back again. Then after awhile, you can’t smell the stink anymore, however you still miss Postum and wouldn’t hesitate to throw Pero back out in the rain if Postum ever miraculously came back to life. Ugh, I wish Postum would come back to life.

Farewell, my Sweet!

Yesterday I had my last bowl of thrifty’s mint chocolate chip ice cream, my last root beer, my last salt water taffy, my last cup of hot chocolate with whip cream. Hello, my name is Katie and I’m an addict. I have been sugar free for 16 hours, Heaven help me make it 24. I can’t get through a day without some kind of sugar, chocolate, or dessert. I have decided to kick this habit and my goal is to go for 2 weeks without eating candy, desserts, juices/sodas etc. Hopefully by then I will no longer feel the sugar craving as strongly as I do now. My sweetness should come from within not from without! This has to be cold turkey or nothing because if I crack even a little it’s all over and I will make no progress and still be a slave to the goodness (or should I say evilness?) of the sweetness. As Jimmy Eat World says "The sweetness will not be concerned with me". I’m not looking forward to the detoxification that will occur over the next few weeks. My body just recently expanded from the upper end of a healthy BMI (body mass index) to the lower end of an overweight BMI. I found this out while playing Wii fit at my brother’s house. It had been 35 days since the last time I had played and it told me I had gained almost 6 pounds. Gross! Although this was hardly a surprise. I knew it was coming, my fat pants had found their way out from the back of my closet and I’ve been avoiding putting on my normal sized pants. This expansion has got to stop. Manifest Destiny is not a policy I want to apply to my body. I’ll be replacing hot chocolate with Pero, ice cream with yogurt, and salt water taffy and other sweet things with fruit and vegetables and return to my old exercise habits that went away when my sugar kick came. Let’s return the fat pants to the back of the closet!

Yellow

Hello fair readers. In Miss Manner’s advice column she always addresses the person she’s advising as "Gentle Reader". I find this interesting because she has no way of knowing whether or not her gentle readers really are gentle. I find it odd, but for some reason it still appeals to me. Seeing as how I am not Miss Manners, I will refer to you as "fair" rather than "gentle". Please don’t take offense if you are black, brown, or extremely tan...or really pale wishing you weren’t for that matter. My blog is free for anyone of any color to read, but I didn’t really mean light skinned when I said fair. Speaking of colors, this was the reason for my post. I love colors. There isn’t one color that I can say I really dislike...ok, so I can, but if it is a color occurring naturally somewhere rather than a color I’m wearing I don’t hate it. For example, violets are the cutest thing, and the purple haze in a sunset is enjoyable, but if I have to wear it I’m less than thrilled. Purple used to be my favorite color in Kindergarten. I thought it was the prettiest color ever and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t everybody’s favorite color (my best friend’s favorite color was blue)...I can understand now. Purple and I are not great friends, but again, I don’t mind purple, I just wouldn’t choose it for anything other than violets and sunsets, oh, and grape juice. As I’ve grown up my favorite things have changed from the most pretty to the most happy. If I had to pick the happiest color, I would choose yellow. There’s no contest. No other color can compete with the cheerful brightness that yellow exudes. In a rack of clothes no matter how ugly the garment, my eye is always drawn to the yellow one first until I see it is a hideous style. It makes me think of smiley faces, sunshine, lemonade and daffodils. I tend to be a very happy person. Yellow is a very happy color. This is why yellow and I are friends.

Congratulations!

You found my blog! Good work and welcome! This will probably end up being the most lonely blog on the web since I haven't decided if I want to advertise it with my friends or family yet. It will just be a collection of random thoughts and stories that are impersonal in a personal way.