A few days ago somebody on facebook posted his favorite lovey dovey quote to celebrate Valentine’s Day: “You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her.” As soon as I read it, it rubbed me the wrong way. I know it was probably supposed to be saying something deep and meaningful and referring to inner beauty rather than outer beauty but I have yet to interpret this quote in a way that makes me like it unless it’s talking about how people appear to be more attractive once you get to see the goodness that is in them rather than just liking the outer appearance.
I don’t like this quote because it gives men credit for the beauty of women. Maybe that wasn’t the intent of the quote and maybe I do not understand it in the way it was meant, but in reading it I feel like it’s saying a woman isn’t beautiful unless a man loves her. “She is beautiful because you love her”. Does that mean she wasn’t beautiful before he loved her? That isn’t right. To me this is either saying that she’s ugly to everyone else but beautiful to the person who loves her, or she’s beautiful to everyone because you love her (like Johnny Lingo’s 8 cow wife, Muhanna). No matter how I interpret it I can’t agree.
A beautiful woman is not beautiful because YOU love her. She is beautiful because SHE loves HERSELF. She loves herself because God loves her. She proves her love to God through keeping His commandments and treating her body and herself with respect. Through this love between God and his daughters we become beautiful. It’s the same process for men. This is what makes a person beautiful. For that I have to believe that you DO (or should) love a woman because she is beautiful and by saying a woman is only beautiful because you love her is not giving credit where credit is due.
This quote bothered me so much, and when I saw a girl “like” it I really thought she was not thinking it through. I don’t want to be beautiful because a man loves me. That is not a compliment. I want a man to love me because I am beautiful in the way that I understand beautiful to mean.
As it approaches.....
13 years ago
8 comments:
point taken. however I think basically what was meant is that when you love someone they become more beautiful to you because you see them for all that they are rather than just the surface. whether that mean outer appearance or the surface in general. Coming from my married perspective, I would say yes, I thought my husband was handsome when we dated, but he becomes more handsome to me every day because I know him more and more each day. I love him for everything he is, not just the surface, and he is beautiful for everything, not just the surface, or what I knew about when we dated, almost 3 yrs ago. does that make sense?
yep. :)
i agree with you KT! it's a bad quote =)
As a fierce woman, and especially when I was single, I definitely get your point. I want to be respected/beautiful/smart, etc because I have proved that- not just because some dude loves me.
However from my perspective of being married also, I think that innately a person becomes more beautiful to you because you love them and you understand them more.
I also know that men look on the outer if they don't know you well- it is what it is. Once they get to know you, your values, goals, etc, they respect and love you even more. Your love for yourself shows and let that particular man love you more because you love yourself.
Not that I'm being arrogant, but I do believe your perspective will change a little when your life moves to "the next stage."
I can see what Bethany and Carmel are saying, and I agree that as you get to know and love someone they become more and more beautiful to you in all definitions of the word beautiful. However, I think the beauty is there all along. Love just helps us to see it better and more clearly. In my opinion, love doesn’t create beauty; it clarifies it and brings it out where it wasn’t seen before. I don’t think your husbands are more beautiful to you now just because you love them. I think they are more beautiful to you now because your love allows you to see the beauty you couldn’t see before. As your love grows, their beauty too will appear to increase. Seeing this beauty in them I imagine will cause you to love them more which in turn will allow you to continue to have “beautiful insights” creating a never ending love/beauty circle each affecting and increasing the other. This very well could be a naïve perspective of a single girl, but there it is.
Readers Digest Version:
Women’s beauty isn’t created through men’s love and vice versa. When people love each other we’re able to see each other as God sees us which reveals the beauty that if no one else loves us to see at least God knows we have. I think the more we love a person the more of their beauty we’re blessed to see. I don’t agree with the thought that the more we love a person the more beautiful they are.
okay, agreed. and that whole beauty/love circle you're talking about--probably one of the reasons why people stay together even though their physical appearance changes ;) and the fact that things experienced together creates memories and more love.
Muhannah you ugly. thats all im gonna say about it. lol. thats the best quote ever!
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