Teenage mutant ninja spider

There I was sitting on my living room floor watching TV, playing a lonely game of solitaire (old school, with real tangible cards spread out on the floor in front of me), when something caught my eye and I realized I wasn’t alone. Initially I was startled. I think something like “Oh crap” came out of my mouth.

I took a second to decide if I wanted to do the shoe smash or bug spray and came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to have to get any closer to it than I had to and opted for the spray. I calmly stood up, got the raid from under my kitchen sink, and returned to introduce the large 8 legged bugger to death. This is the second ugly brown spider that I’ve come across inside my living space in the last few days. I don’t like it! The last one I smashed with a shoe after trapping it under a cup and staring at it for 5 minutes gathering my courage to lift the cup off of him before hurling said shoe full force upon it (I put paper under the cup first for easy clean up post smash).

I sprayed at this new visitor, and he startled and took off even faster. I tried spraying him again, but I’m not sure how much of the poison actually made contact with him. In the blink of an eye he disappeared in my tv cabinet. Kelly Clarkson’s voice kept resonating in my head, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Ah geeze. I was really regretting not going for a shoe, or at least getting closer before I sprayed. I’m now quite certain that this bugger is going to mutate, acquire super spider powers, and then come find me in my sleep to seek his revenge.