Sunday night lament

I’m trying to decide if not keeping junky food in my place is the result of love or hate for myself. I think it’s love…but sometimes I really hate it. Like right now. All I want is a chocolate brownie, or a chocolate anything, but alas, I have chocolate nothing.  When I passed up that brownie mix on my last grocery trip I knew I’d feel like this at some point, and yet I still didn’t buy it. I’m so cruel. I’m not even on a diet, or being super careful in watching what I eat (dinner was pancakes and an egg), but if I had it or if it was available, I’d eat it and not feel all that guilty about it either since I know I’ve got a 12 mile run tomorrow. I guess that’s why when I go shopping I don’t buy empty calorie treats, at least not on a regular basis. And again…because I love myself? Yes. Because I love myself. Tough stinkin love. I'm pretty sure I'd be the size of a house if I ate everything I ever wanted to. I would have whipped that brownie mix up in a heartbeat tonight and probably eaten a quarter of it, (and then continue to eat it over the next couple days all by myself), but instead I ate raw veggies, some grapes and a little packet of fruit snacks I took from my   parent’s house last week and a cup of Postum for my dessert/snack tonight. Who needs brownies when you’ve got carrots, cauliflower and broccoli? Psh, not me. I LOVE myself. On a more serious note though, I’m so happy Postum has made its way back into my life. Postum is good. But you know what’s better? Postum with a brownie…or 5.