Super

I was super cranky today. I had a crazy shift at work, wasn’t able to fall asleep at all the 3 hours before I left for church so it was like a normal person going to church at 3 in the morning if they woke up at 7am the day before after working their third 12 hour shift of the week. I was so tired I felt like I could sit down and cry for no good reason. I wound up losing patience and spoke in a snotty tone to someone who was only trying to provide helpful although unsolicited instructions. I feel little for letting my crankiness win. I can’t remember the last time I let that happen with anybody other than immediate family. It might have been a first, and I hate that. I have my fair share of cranky days, but I usually have the presence of mind to keep myself in check when I’m dealing with people knowing that they don’t mean to ruffle my feathers and if I was feeling better the thing that had bothered me probably wouldn’t bother me so much. It really bugs me that I lost it today.


I feel super blessed. Every time I go for a jog whether it’s at dawn with the sun rising, dusk with the sun setting or in the middle of the afternoon when the pine needles are warm and fragrant; every time I drive to Chico on Skyway and see the pink/purple/blue sky as the sun sets with the purple mountain outline; every time I see the pink hazy clouds out of the windows at the end of a shift at the hospital as the sun comes up, I think to myself how awesome it is to live and work in Paradise. I love stepping outside, taking it all in and just breathing. It’s beautiful and so far I love it here. The stars in the sky are by far brighter than any other city I’ve lived in (which is only a few). Fall weather has come and it’s kind of fun to have the leaves fall around you as you make your way down the street. I’ve always felt that whenever a leaf fell near me that was God’s way of saying hello. I think it stemmed from when I was going to school at Sac State, and every time I got to the arboretum towards the pedestrian tunnel walking from the institute building a leaf would almost always fall as I passed. It made me sad the few times it didn’t happen. Sometimes without thinking I’ll catch myself saying hi to a leaf as it flutters to the ground near me, but whether I do or not falling leaves always make me smile.


I’m super lucky. I love that I have a job that is providing me with the experience I’ve worked so hard and long to get. I have super people I work with that make me feel super lucky to be there. I had a patient ask me the other day what my favorite part of nursing was. I thought about it for a minute and I told him I liked that I could increase my knowledge and skills while helping people at the same time. I find the most rewarding moments though are in the little things, like when I notice a patient looks cold and I bring them a warm blanket and they tell me I had just been sent from heaven.


I’m super grateful. Whenever I say my prayers I feel like I can never express the gratitude I feel for everything I have been blessed with this year. Sometimes I can’t believe how super blessed and super lucky I am. I’ll have to remember those the next time I’m super cranky so I’m not super rude.