We can do this

Insanity Day 48

The workouts the last 3 days have felt much better than before and my body is thanking me for the food. I was surprised at how much food you can eat when the calories you’re consuming are healthy ones. I definitely wasn’t getting enough before even when I wasn’t working (I was eating the same kind of food, but not as often as I am now) and I’m almost embarrassed by how stupid I was being about eating. I knew the science behind nutrition I just wasn’t paying attention to what I was actually taking in. I still feel tired after a workout, but it’s a different kind of tired. I’m not exhausted to the point of tears and when I’m tired now I can tell it’s because I need sleep or because I just worked my muscles after pushing myself as hard as I thought I should be able to. It’s been educational getting to know my body this way and learning how nutrition affects the way I feel and what I can do. I’m also learning to listen to my body. When I feel hungry I need to eat something, and that happens at least every 3 hours and sometimes as often as twice in an hour. I don’t have anything in my place that is bad for me to eat and if my body is telling me it is hungry then I need to respond and put something into it. In the past when I’d be "dieting" when my body told me it was hungry I told it to shut up because it’s not dinner time yet. Counting my calories has given me the freedom to eat more often letting me know that even though it’s my 5^th time eating that day I still have 800 more calories to go so go ahead and eat something else. The other day I ate something when I wasn't really hungry just because I knew I hadn’t gotten close to what I needed for the day, was about to go out for awhile and didn't want to be under my minimum number. It’s taking some getting used to feeling like I’m eating all day, but I feel better doing it and I can see/feel a difference in my workouts. I’m going to splurge tonight and eat ice cream and I had an oreo at a church activity this afternoon. It wasn't the kind of cookie I'd been craving, but it still made me happy. I don’t even feel guilty about it…but I guess I kind of do about the icecream because I went for an extra jog this evening to help justify my going and buying it tonight.

My trusty shoes I wear with every workout...and jogging too. I'm going to need new ones soon

My insanity calendar...only now there's a purple checkmark on Saturday along with a +3.3 mile jog written in

And here's me looking goofy pre work out this morning. We'll spare the blogosphere an image of post workout. Nobody should have to see that mess.

Fun facts about the shirt I'm wearing: It was a gift from my awesome cousin Courtney. It has a flamingo on it which is my favorite animal. It is yellow, which is my favorite color. Underneath the picture it says "Paradise Island" (you can't really see it in the picture). We had no idea how awesome that would be when I originally got it knowing where I live now.

Eat more

Insanity Day 47

Month 2 hasn’t been very satisfying for me yet. I’ve been feeling tired all the time, I feel like I’m not making the amount of progress I’d like with the workouts because I’m too tired to push as hard as I want and the scale that I expected to start moving down a bit more now that I’ve developed some muscle and my workouts have intensified hasn’t moved at all…except for maybe a pound in the wrong direction. I’ve been craving sugar more than I had been. My muscles have been extra shakey in the workouts this week and I felt like crying once. What the heck was wrong with me? It was just a work out!

I did a mental reflection of the food I’ve eaten the last 3 days tallying up the calories and realized I was starving myself eating only about 1000 calories a day on the days that I worked. A girl my height, weight and age who doesn’t exercise at all requires 1395 calories a day to meet her basal metabolic needs. I’ve been doing hour long insanity workouts  6 days a week and half the time following that workout with a 12 hour shift at the hospital. 1000 calories isn’t going to do it. No wonder I felt like crap. With weight loss as my goal at the activity level I’m at, I should have been eating at least 700-900 more calories a day than I was.

I never focused much on the nutrition side of insanity aside from cutting out sweets (although I still have an occasional dessert like last weekend for mother’s day and my nephew’s birthday) and my diet ginger ale/cranberry juice I used have all the time and incorporating more fruit and vegetables. I never bothered counting calories. In month two with the harder workouts they tell you to “eat more”. I didn’t change anything nutritionally in month 2. I guess I’ll have to do a little bit more food planning on my days off to make sure I eat enough on the days that I have to work so I can have the fuel that I need to get through my workouts and which should also decrease my sugar cravings. I was just hungry. I hate counting calories, but I’d rather know I’m getting what I need than feel like I’ve already done a workout before I even begin one. The calorie count started yesterday and I’m already feeling better with more food in me.

I'm tired

Insanity day 45

And I miss cookies.

I'm smiling because I love it

Insanity day 39

Welcome to month 2! It’s just like starting from the beginning. My muscles are sore all over again and I’m tired. I’ve been working the last 3 nights, and I know I haven’ t been getting enough protein, and maybe not enough calories either so that might be part of the problem as well as not enough sleep. I’m off for a few days so I’ll be able to spend more time preparing and thinking about food (as I sit here eating my lemon pepper baked chicken and zucchini). On the bright side of nutrition I have been valiantly just saying no to all kinds of goodness that has been thrusting itself in my face at work this week. It’s nurses appreciation week and every night there has been candy, ice cream, cupcakes and goodies that normally I would have partaken of. I still crave dessert sometimes (not as often as I used to though) and it’s still hard to not eat it especially if it’s right there. Last night they also brought apple slices “for those of you who don’t want to get diabetes”, which I did eat. I thought it was nice they had an alternative the beautiful cupcakes they were passing out. Aside from a scone with a bit of honey butter I let myself have on Sunday night, the only dessert like thing I’ve had since Easter was that boston cream cake thing I had at my parents 2 or 3 weeks ago. This weekend with Mother’s day and my nephew’s birthday, I’m planning on letting myself have some dessert.

Monday was the weigh, measure and fit test day! It was good! The scale finally dropped into the next decade down and I saw a middle number I can’t ever remember seeing before. That was exciting.  Since insanity day one, total weight loss is 4.8 pounds and I’ve lost  ½ an inch off each upper arm and thigh, an inch off my chest, 1.75 inches off my waist and 3/4ths of an inch off my hips. 

I saw improvement or stayed the same in each exercise on the fit test except the power jacks. I did 5 less than last time which was the same amount I did the first time. That doesn’t bother me too much because the exercise before it I improved by 9 (which is a big number for me) and I think I was still worn out when it came time to do the next exercise which was the power jacks. I totally wear myself out with the fit test and it was hard on Monday going from the fit test to the workout for the day. I had an hour and a half of insanity and then went to work.

This week so far doing insanity and having to go to work for 12-13 hours has left me frustrated with myself in the workouts because I don’t feel like I’m able to push as much as I want to. I jump in a certain exercise thoroughly intending to jump right back up again when I hit the floor and then nothing happens. My legs wouldn’t move. I had to pause and then jump after a second or two when my legs finally connected with my brain. Go!! They just wouldn’t. I can’t say that I blame them, but it still made me mad. I’m feeling like a beginner all over again, but it should be just as fun to see how much more I can do in another couple weeks as it was last month. And I can’t help but smile at the results.

You shouldn't feel super exhausted at the end of this...

…if you do you’re doing it too hard.

Insanity day 31

Crap. What if you’re feeling super exhausted and the workout hasn’t even started yet?

Officially half way done! Done with the first 4 weeks, I’m now half way through the recovery week, and 4 more weeks left starting Monday.

For the recovery week in between months I’m supposed to do the same video (core cardio and balance) all week that is supposed to let me recover before jumping back in full steam ahead for the second month of insanity with a whole new set of longer more intense work out videos. I’m tired this week! I just finished my 3^rd night of work and each night was especially tiring leaving me feeling not so peppy for the workout even after I slept. Yesterday I didn’t even want to wake up I was still so tired from the night before. I’m not loving the core cardio and balance recovery video, but I’m doing it. Yesterday and today were the first days I really didn’t want to do an insanity workout. I usually look forward to them. I don’t know if it’s because I really don’t like the actual workout, or if it’s just because I’m cranky and tired from work this week. We’ll see how the next 3 days go. I should be more rested having a few days off now. I went for a walk today on my 3.4 mile jogging route after the video. That was much more enjoyable. The weather was so pleasant and trees were blooming and the sun was just starting to go down. I was glad I decided to go outside. It left me feeling more like how I like to feel.

Happy predicament

Insanity Day 26

I had a staff meeting today. I selected the outfit I wanted to wear out of my closet, took a shower and then got dressed only to find my slacks were too big. Like frumpy looking hover around me too big. I put on another pair of slacks, and another. I have about 7 pairs from when I was working in the SNF and had to wear business casual/professional attire to work every day. They’re all too big along with most of my shirts. They were starting to get too big before with some weight loss I had before I even began insanity, but they’re un-wearable now. I was so happy! But what was I going to wear?? I finally selected something, but it didn’t fit very well either. It was frustrating trying to find something that looked nice, but I’d much rather deal with clothes being too big than too small. I’ll just have to go shopping for new professional clothes in a month or so when I hit my goal size. For now I at least have a few casual and church outfits that fit well.

I haven’t missed any workouts this week, and there’s one more tomorrow before I start the recovery week in between months. Almost half way done! It’s fun to see my strength and endurance improve. I’m curious to see my fit test results in another week. I won’t have an official “weigh and measure” day until then, but unofficially, my measurements continue to decrease and the scale finally went down to show a 2.5 pound loss since starting nearly 4 weeks ago which puts me 3 pounds away from my first goal weight, and 7 pounds away from my “in my dreams” goal weight.

Cuz I wanna look good

Insanity Day 23

At the end of a particularly strenuous workout Shaun T says something like, “sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do as a fitness professional” then he answers himself… “cuz I wanna look gooood!”

As a young, single, childless adult I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t push myself every day to be the healthiest version of me possible. Why shouldn’t I work out for an hour every day 6 days a week? Why would it be so hard to cut out things like diet soda, and dessert, drink more water and eat more fruit and vegetables? When else am I going to have the time or opportunity to focus so much on just me? I was really afraid of working out so hard on the days I worked and losing sleep to be able to fit in my workouts, but I find I look forward to waking up and doing my insanity workouts and that I’m not any more sleepy at work than before. It’s not impossible. There’s no good reason for why not. I’m young and able, and I should take advantage of that. And I wanna look goood!

I didn’t miss any workouts last week. My workout calendar has happy purple check marks on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I did them all. In fact, the only 2 workouts I missed since starting were when I had a fever, and I hated missing them!  Sunday is the day I don’t have to do an insanity workout, but I still got some activity in this last Sunday walking up and down San Francisco hills, stairs and some trails at Golden Gate Park for a few hours with 2 of my best buddies. I feel just as tired with the insanity workouts as I did in the beginning because I continue to push myself, but I’m able to do more and the warm up isn’t nearly as daunting as it was at first.

I weighed in yesterday for my weekly weigh in and the scale showed I was 0.4 pounds less than I was when I started about 3 weeks ago. At least it’s something even though I feel like it might as well be nothing. I’m not going to measure myself for another 2 weeks, but I can see myself getting smaller and my clothes are getting bigger. I achieved one of my goals already of being able to comfortably fit into the jeans I wore in nursing school. I now don’t have anything in my closet I can’t easily zip, button, put on or feel comfortable wearing because it’s too small.

Weighing myself has proved to be pointless since I can see results that don’t show up on the scale. Despite this, I can’t help weighing myself. And despite seeing results in other ways besides the number I can’t help but be disappointed in the number. I don’t like measuring myself either because it’s hard to tell if I pulled the measuring tape tighter the time before or not or if I lined it up in the same spot as before- so I decided weekly measuring is not a good idea. My favorite gauge is how my clothes fit. Most of my shirts are much baggier now and the pants I’m used to wearing are starting to fall off if I don’t have a belt. I went shopping the other day and bought the next size shirt down than I usually buy. That was fun.

Another fun area of improvement I can easily gauge is checking my heart rate. Before insanity, at rest I couldn’t get my heart rate much lower than 58 beats a minute. I’ve lowered it by 10 beats a minute. When I have quiet moments at work or when I’m just sitting chilling at home I’ve gotten my heart rate down to 45 beats a minute. Before insanity my usual “just sitting relaxing” heart rate was low 60’s. Now it’s upper 40’s to lower 50’s.

I hadn’t had any dessert for nearly two weeks (the Easter fudge being the last dessert item I indulged in) until this last weekend. I was home visiting my parents and my parents brought home a strawberry boston cream cake thing after a grocery shopping trip Saturday night. I just can’t say no! I can keep myself from buying it and not have it in my house, but if it’s there I have the hardest time convincing myself that I’d be happier without it. I had already done the Plyometric Cardio circuit workout in the morning, and when I saw the dessert I went out to the treadmill and put a couple miles on it and let myself eat cake. It was a tiny piece, but I had another on Sunday too. After two weeks of no dessert I thought it would be too sad to not enjoy it. And it was good. However, my piece on Sunday was a normal sized piece instead of the size of the ½ inch slice I took on Saturday. I should have stuck with the smaller size. Just before the last bite I became nauseated all at once and couldn’t finish it. I felt gross. I didn’t regret eating the cake. I did regret the amount- even though it wasn’t a disgustingly huge piece, it was too much for my body and I should have been content with half of it (which I originally planned on eating, and then changed my mind after eating the first half and went ahead for the rest of it). I felt fine after the first half. My body thanked me for the superfluous second half with a feeling of grossness.

I don’t see anything wrong with dessert. I think people should enjoy yummy things every once in a while, we just have to not eat it every day and be able to eat a smaller portion than we’re used to and be done. There’s a family my parents go to church with who don’t keep sweets in the house, but once a week they ride their bikes to go get an ice cream treat that they eat there. I really like this idea. I think it would help knowing and being able to count on that once a week you’re going to get a treat so it wouldn’t be so hard to say no to other temptations that come along since you know yours is coming, but it isn’t time now. I like the eating a single portion out of the house and not keeping anything in the house…because I honestly have no self-control if it’s accessible when my desire for dessert hits. I also like that there’s a physical activity involved in going to get the treat. Life would not be as enjoyable without dessert, but on the flip side how fun is it to be fat? Kudos to that family. They have found a healthy, fun tradition that allows them to enjoy life.